In this age of political correctness, it is unacceptable on the whole to use the word “ugly”. We’re meant to dress things up and pretend we live in some sort of Disney version of the world where we’re all happy shiny people, living happy shiny lives and there’s never anything truly offensive.
However there are some pretty ugly things out there, lets face it. Ugly buildings and developments. Ugly abuses of human rights. Ugly truths like climate change. There’s probably even some little part of you that you find ugly about yourself, maybe that small toe you dropped a brick on one day. Maybe that nasty nagging in-grown hair. In the US alone $1900,000,000 was spent last year on cosmetic surgery to change what someone thought was a little bit of ugly.
So lets be honest and admit that in the world there are some ugly things.
When the Flying Spaghetti Monster was handing out characteristics the celeriac was all the way at the end of the line for looks. In contrast, think of an Orange. There is a fruit that so epitomises its colour that it is called the colour. Or vice versa perhaps. Then there is the rich, fragrant simplicity of the basil leaf. The endless velvety form of our mushrooms.
And then there’s the celeriac.
Like you, The VegHead has looked at a pile of celeriacs sitting amongst the potatoes, carrots and so on and wondered exactly which planet it transported in from. Just where is Planet Fugly? All the while however you have to admire its pluck. The power of the supermarket is so strong that they can dictate exactly what colour an apple can be, and which shape is suitable for bananas, cucumbers and tomatoes. Its like the celeriac is just sitting there smirking and thinking “Go on…try to regulate me into some lovely package”.
The celeriac is the ugly man in the room of same-same Hollywood blandness, the person so outstandingly out of place with ugliness that you eventually cross the room at the party to go see what the story is. Because there has to be one right?
So The VegHead bought one. Which is different from knowing what to do with it. So to save you the same searching on Google here is what you need to know:
- they’re good for roasting, boiling and mashing
- they need to be peeled
- they’ll smell like dirt before you peel them and have a light celery smell to them once peeled
- they oxidise very quickly once peeled, so only cut and peel them just before cooking or they’ll blacken
- lemon apparently slows the blackening
- they can bitter if not cooked properly. If boiling, place into boiling water not cold water (and brought to the boil) as the latter method makes them bitter
- most of the nutrients are just under the skin so don’t peel too deeply
So far, The VegHead has only tried it roasted with some spices. It was good. More experimention to come. Leave a comment if you know of any good recipes using celeriac.
And remember; all the freaky people make the beauty of the world.